Brief Internet Sojourns and You


As someone particularly incapable at self-promotion, but still largely comfortable with mush-mouthed, wordy treatises, I’m left with kind of a ramble today. Occasionally I scour the internet for other writing opportunities — places where I might cast my dazzling, sulphurous glow upon new readers in new contexts. Often in my journeys I find things that don’t really work for me, either because of genre or limitations on word counts, or a necessary inclusion of certain products or space ponies or whatever. Other times I am scared away by any indication of an entry fee, which as someone who has taken many a voyage on these electronic seas, necessarily causes danger centres in my brain to fire and trigger my fight-or-flight responses. (Once or twice while becoming interested in a site or contest and discovering a solicitation of my precious lucre, I have actually had to physically leave the room with my wallet, so certain am I that my laptop will come snapping away at me and my money like a chattering pair of wind-up toy jaws.)

But recently I found a few places where things seemed not particularly shady, and where I have submitted my beguiling turns of phrase in hopes of showering myself with attention, and also possibly prize money. The pieces were not overly-constrained, and proved just limiting enough to present a challenge. Also they had small word count limits, which was the truest obstacle in my path. As many of you know, I have a tendency towards being verbose, and you can pry my thesaurus out of my cold, dead hands, etc etc.

Anyway. As people somewhat invested in absorbing my words into your Wernicke’s areas, like some delicious, life-sustaining pulpy syrup for your eyeballs and noggins, I present to you some gems I’ve cast out from the shore.

Take to the Ramparts featured on We Said Go Travel

The Maiden Voyage of the S.S. Pukebucket on Pure Travel

Comment, like, facebook, googleplus, shout from the rooftops, paste into your commemorative scrapbooks, tattoo directly onto your children’s adoring faces as you see fit.

Programming Announcement

The path

Korea: two years later, and it’s still pretty awesome.

Today, I have been in Korea for 2 years.

I have been writing this blog for even longer. I have 200-and-something posts, and probably around 200,000 words spread across these well-thumbed electronic pages. Laughs have been larfed. Tears shed. Vomit erupted to the back of throats and then receded. Neurons gently stimulated by intriguing configurations of the English language. Pictures looked at. Things eaten.

I’ve given you my words, and those are about the only thing I know how to give, so I’m glad you all took them.

I have one more post for tomorrow (I think you’ll understand why I saved it for last), and then I’m going to be going on a little bit of a hiatus. I will be traveling for nearly four months through southeast Asia and India. I will have shoddy, irregular access to the internet. I will not have a laptop with which to properly accrue and ruminate my words, swallowing them back and regurgitating them onto my keyboard several times before pushing them out for you, the reader, to sup upon like little cow-birds (my metaphors kind of mutated there). I won’t be able to upload or manipulate my photos, I won’t be able to write nearly as much, and I won’t be able to concentrate and properly give you words in the way I want to give them to you. If I tried to maintain this blog the way it is while on the road it would require a lot less being on and enjoying the road; if I tried to give you some watered-down simulacrum to tide you over until I could make some real words, I would feel pretty dissatisfied with the product.

As such, this is a temporary goodbye. I will be back one day, with stories and pictures and, universe willing, a whole new place to be stupid and ugly and foreign in. New lands to stomp. New foods to eat. New people to meet, new things to say, and whole slews of topics to be neurotic about.

Until that day comes, I want to thank you all sincerely for reading, commenting, linking, and simply hanging out around here in whatever ways you have over these two years. I never expected to get anyone to read this beyond those few people I forced it upon. It is overwhelmingly ingratiating to have so many wonderful people appreciating the words I put out and giving me their own in return.

You will hear from me again soon (tomorrow, specifically, and then again in the future, more vaguely). Stay safe. Travel hard. Eat. Drink. Sleep. Write.

Michael Em. Over and out.
A nice day on the pier