Our purpose today is several-fold: self-congratulatory, mutually appreciative, valorous and ready for battle.
First, we did it! Stupid Ugly Foreigner made it into the top 100 of The Big Blog Exchange (84th in the world, 23rd in the America region). I say “we,” rather than the masturbatory “I,” in the sense that it is because of you that I’m in this place. My skill at vote-mongering is pitiful, and so I threw myself on the mercy of my readers, and you answered my plaintive wails with your votes, your shares, and your blood sacrifices to Pazuzu, the great demon master in charge of blood sacrifices and internet contests. (I am also saying “we” instead of “I” even though it is “I” and not “we” that will get to go on a trip if SUF wins one of the 16 winner spots. A totally minor distinction, I’m sure.)
So thank you. A million times thank you. If you were here, I would give you a high five. When I taught kindergarten, in order to get the little goons to stop hugging me all the time, I taught them that a high five is better than a hug. A hug just means I care about you, but a high five means that I care and that I’m proud.
So what’s next? As the scary Doom Clock on the Big Blog Exchange website indicates, shadowy jurors are now locked in some underground bunker scrutinizing the various merits of all the blogs entered in the competition. From the top 100, all but 14 will be culled. From all the blogs, two additional wild cards will be chosen based purely on awesomeness and motivation.
What are my chances, you ask? It is difficult to tell. I imagine this judging process happening even now, hundreds of kilometres below Hostelling International headquarters. These people have all been sequestered: they will not be allowed outside contact, conjugal visits, nor any beverage other than Dr. Pepper until a decision is made. On what criteria will they base their decision? Photography capability? Pure and simple word-smithery? Unbridled travel sagacity? Who has the prettiest eyes? It is not known. If a time comes when bloodsport or some sort of Herculean task is required of the contestants, I will be ready, rest assured. I’d gut the living crap out of any Nemean lion for a cool trip to the Philippines or Australia or Croatia.
What was I saying? Oh. Yes. Top 100! Top 25 of smaller geographic subset! Whoo! Stay tuned, the Grand Champions will be announced soon.