Guy and Sheep: Why WordPress Search Terms is Amazing


A real post is coming later today about teaching and pedagogy (aren’t you excited?), but in the interim, I have this. On the WordPress dashboard, you can see fairly comprehensive graphs of the statistics for your blog: number of visits, pages viewed, referrers, linkbacks, all the good stuff. My favourite is search terms: it displays what search terms brought views to your blog. The most amazing ones that brought people to Stupid Ugly Foreigner are below. (And also, by putting them in this post again, I only invite more strange internet wanderers stumbling upon my site in their nomadic quests for out-of-the-way erotica, but if you’re Googling some of the following things,  you’re probably asking to be thrown off course occasionally .)

 

– red light district amsterdam prices

– guy and sheep

– korea turn up hot water

– wildcracker luggage

-how to open korean washing machine

-hot korean coteacher

-pork belly with jujubes

-do people stare at foreigners with blue eyes

-kimchi breakfast

-pictures of rampaging people

-small boy sings in 2010 english pop from canada

-why do they say shut off boy

-moving plate safe ventilators for prison cells

 

And the crown jewel of search terms: “four-way fuck asian celb”. One assumes (hopes?) that “celb” is a typo for “celeb,” but one further wonders how far into the search results my blog must have been. Was the elusive four-way really such a Sisyphean find that this brave e-scavenger scraped all the way to my blog? Shine on, you horny diamond, wherever you are.

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6 thoughts on “Guy and Sheep: Why WordPress Search Terms is Amazing

    • It is in order of hilarity.

      A pleasantly stoned American kept us informed of the local exchange rates, which I think I actually mentioned in my Amsterdam post, ages ago. Thus that search was not actually terribly off-base.

  1. Some of our gems include “shit fish” and “mealy mounds”. It really is delightful to open up your stats and find little things like that waiting for you.

    • It charms me, these search functions. Like the world is conspiring to delight me. Shit fish. I want to meet this person. And maybe be wearing gloves when I meet them.

      This week I have “research influence of kpop plastic surgery” and, awesomely, “mario reich.” Is Mario Reich a person? An Italian nazi in a plumber costume? I never thought those two words associated anywhere beyond my blog such that someone would take to the internet to seek it out, and it makes me happy that the opposite is true.

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